Shakira

Shakira is a Spanish name that came from the Arabic word for ‘graceful’. She speaks English, Spanish, Arabic, Portuguese, and Italian, and she can perform Arab belly dancing, which was taught by her Lebanese grandmother.

Shakira was born in Barranquilla to a Lebanese father and a Spanish-Italian mother, and moved to Bogotá at the age of thirteen. She released her first album, Magia(Magic), one year later, on the Sony label. The album was only moderately successful, and Peligro(Danger), her second album, was no better received.

http://bikinimodelworld.com

Heidi Montag’s Transformers 3 Audition

Heidi Montag slapped together an audition tape for Michael Bay (after the jump) that’s literally nothing more than her firing guns at the shooting range while Spencer films it on an iPhone. I don’t even know where to begin with how retarded this approach is, so I’m just going to start listing things off the top of my head:

1. Nobody’s washing a Ferrari in a bikini.
2. Or a Lamborghini.
3. Michael Bay’s food is cleavage and you just made him die of starvation.
4. Shooting guns is for boys.
5. Heidi speaks.

Hopefully Heidi took notes except that’s a trick question because women aren’t allowed to write in Michael Bay movies. Though once I saw one read the numbers on a cell phone which I’m chalking up to a typo in the script.

2ND UNIT: Michael, it says here she “reads” the number on the phone.
MICHAEL: What? Let me see that. *reads* That’s the most inconceivable thing I’ve ever heard! Change it to Optimus Prime accidentally punches through the wall of the ladies room and she’s sitting on the can with her pants down.

Happy 4th, Everybody!

Alright, folks, I’m cutting out for the weekend and won’t be back until Tuesday, so please enjoy this magical slice of patriotism in my stead.

In the meantime, don’t forget to enter The Superficial Banner Girl Contest or comment on how retarded I am for not noticing this Katy Perry pic was missing a tattoo on her wrist. (Short answer: I have a penis.)

Can I change that to “Long answer?” Or, no, wait: “Herculean.”

Drink responsibly,

- The Superficial

P.S. South Africa’s one of those countries that cuts off your hand for minor offenses, right? Say yes.